~LadyHawke~

Shifting my blog..

2007-02-13T02:13:00.000+08:00

okie pple i'm shifting my blog after much deliberation. i'm shifting to multiply frm now onward..so pls direct urself to http://v517v.multiply.com

do come rite..

BlogTV V Day Special

2007-02-11T20:41:00.000+08:00

Blogtv has a contest for love stories so i just send mine..& guess what..they wanted to suprise hubby. Tomorrow is the recording. I'll update after that. ;)

My Practical

2007-02-08T21:34:00.000+08:00

Had my 2nd practical just now. It was another instructor. This time is a Mly guy..& he called me kakak! I was like..huh? kakak?...am i that old? i think that made him quite uncomfortable. now im more confident in doing the bend. not bad ah.. but this time i went on the kerb (eh betul ke spelling aku ni..) 3 times... haha..quite nervous..

After the pratical, hub came to fetch me. He was unwell so we went straight home.. while waiting fo him to park the bike at the carpark, i just touch the zip on my jeans.. n wat do u know.. I FORGOT TO ZIP IT! OMG! I did my practical etc.. the whole day at the centre with my zip unzipped! Shhessssh! This is sooo embaressing.

My Boys Are Sick

2007-02-01T02:07:00.000+08:00

I've been quite worried lately..one after another of my boys fell ill. It's always the eldest 1st followed by 2nd. Luckily youngest is well but I'm worried with his bowel movement. He has difficulty moving his bowel. Poor thing.

On Sun, we went to Harbour Front with Bibik & Zaid. We were at BIG for a looooooooooong time that we didn't get to go to Vivo. I bought a new fridge & LCD TV. Then we had some coupons for lucky draw or something but the coupons were to be inserted into this machine & then u get ur prize. It was cool. My son love playing with it. Liyana met us at BIG. After that, we fetch Bapak & Cik Yasmin before heading to Jln Kayu for dinner cum supper. I was so hungry that I ate Beef Hor Fun & 2 roti prata. I'm gonna be fat if i cont like this!

Oh ya, I had my 1st practical on Mon. Quite nervous actually. But luckily my hubby was there to calm my nerves. Mu instructor was quite nice. I still have no confident in the turning..stress sia..but quite fun at the same time. I have very bad parallex error. hahah..tend to lean towards rite. My FTT will be on the 13th..but havent finish studying..hehe

Tertiary Movie Promo

2007-01-27T03:50:00.001+08:00

21st Jan, 10 yrs ago

2007-01-21T18:32:00.000+08:00

This date 10 yrs ago was the beginning of my relationship with hubby. It marked our 1st date as well. 10 yr ago i never dreamt that he will be the one; my husband & father to my children.

Dedicated to Abang,

21hb Januari, 10 Tahun Lalu

21hb Januari sepuluh tahun lalu

pertama kali bertemu

selama berkenalan

selama berkawan

melalui kertas dan tinta

belum lagi bersua muka

Ramadan bulan mulia

bulan yang temukan kita

sekadar berbuka puasa

tidak disangka mula bait-bait cinta

roti prata sebagai santapan

seakan sukar untuk ditelan

akibat duduk berhadapan

tunduk saja menahan segan

imbasan kenangan mengusik jiwa

antara aku dengan si dia

siapa sangka siapa duga

kini si dia suami tercinta

bersyukur aku ke hadrat Illahi

atas kurnia yang diberi

Faezin, Farihin dan Fitri

rezeki melimpah tidak terperi

Abang,

perjalanan yang dilalui

ada kesulitan ada pertelingkahan

apa yang diingini

kasih sayang berterusan

kau sentiasa di sisi

hubungan berkekalan

Abang,

terima kasih atas segalanya

kasih sayang cinta setia

semoga apa yang kita impikan

akan menjadi kenyataan

21 Januari sebagai saksi

terjalan cinta dan kasih

agar ini berterusan

hingga bercerai nyawa dan badan

The 10 yr hurdle was passed. Now another 10 yr hurdle. Everything is still surreal to me. Gosh! Btw abang, thanks for the forrero roche & other chocolate u gave me. even though i did not get to wish u at midnite, u know i was more than prepared for the celebration. i have cake, ur gift & our 'cheeseburger anniversary cake'. Love u always & forever.

Yeay.. I passed!

2007-01-18T13:30:00.000+08:00

I only studied for BT test 2 days ago. It was kind of last minute. I was quite nervous since I failed before. I thought of burning midnite oil but too sleepy. So when little one woke up for his feeding at 5.30 am, I decided to do some studying after that. I studied till 7 before I stopped to rest my brain & used my OTO Trimax. After shower, I woke hubby up hoping that he would send me to the ctr. He told me to grab a cab. I felt a bit disappointed but later he asked if I really want him to send. Of coz, I want him to do that. I even tell him I will do my best to pass if he send me but if i go myself, I rather fail..hehe. (thank god i passed.) I've book my next test which will be the next day after i get back to work.
Then yesterday we went for another family outing. Been wanting to bowl for sometime but have no time so yesterday was the chance. Went by to Grassroots but Cathay Bowl there closed down. So we proceed to Safra Yishun. Played 3 rounds... yuck..i played quite badly. My older son & my maid played too. We had fun. Of coz my hubby won all the game. Even my maid also beat my score..hmph.
Eldest asked where were we heading after the game. When I said we are heading home, he asked why aren't we eating outside like usual. So in the end we went to Sembawang Shopping Ctr to do a bit of shopping and rest at KFC before going home.

Taufik Batisah

2007-01-15T03:10:00.000+08:00

Yeay..just now I went to Causeway Pt to meet Taufik Batisah. I brought Faezin with me coz last time I met him I did not get to bring my son. Faezin likes Taufik too. I remember he calling Taufik 'Anan' which he meant Idol coz during that time. He was 2 then..during the 1st Spore Idol. We took photo wif Daniel Ong too.

Birthday Celebration Bapak

2007-01-12T01:13:00.000+08:00

Birthday bapak was on 6 Jan. On Sunday Liyana sms asking if i wanna join bibik & my cousins to go to Bapak's place to celebrate his birthday. It is sort of like a surprise party. So the next day, I brought my kids & Santi to meet them at MacD Northpt. Syahida & Bibik reached there few mins before us. Then Liyana came. We just sat and drank while waiting for Zaid. Santi was not feeling well and vomitted a few times. Later I left them to buy birthday cake at Bengawan Solo. Then Zaid arrived and he bought his dinner.

After Zaid is done, we took bus to bapak's place. In the bus I ordered KFC. Bibik treat KFC. He was quite surprise to see us. Yap Cik Yasmin was told not to inform bapak. Bapak must be very happy. Then we took some photo and sang birthday song. After that Cik Yasmin gave bapak a kiss on the cheek...aww so romantic. It's so sweet to see older couple being romantic. Then we had the cake cutting and of coz cake eating.

Then our KFC dinner arrived. At 10.30 hubby arrived. All of us went back at 11.30pm.

Any crappy stuff.. haha

2007-01-10T05:27:00.000+08:00

You are The High Priestess

Science, Wisdom, Knowledge, Education.

The High Priestess is the card of knowledge, instinctual, supernatural, secret knowledge. She holds scrolls of arcane information that she might, or might not reveal to you. The moon crown on her head as well as the crescent by her foot indicates her willingness to illuminate what you otherwise might not see, reveal the secrets you need to know. The High Priestess is also associated with the moon however and can also indicate change or fluxuation, particularily when it comes to your moods.

What Tarot Card are You?
Take the Test to Find Out.

Some Blogthing Crap..haha

2007-01-05T00:59:00.000+08:00

You Are Superman

Faster than a speeding bullet, more powerful than a locomotive, and able to leap tall buildings in a single bound.
And pretty cute too. No wonder you're the most popular superhero ever!

What Superhero Are You?

Your 1996 Theme Song Is: Macarena by Los Del Rio

When I dance they call me macarena
And the boys, they say that I'm buena
They all want me, they can't have me
So they all come and dance beside me

What's Your 1996 Theme Song?

What Your Face Says

At first glance, people see you as warm and well-balanced.

Overall, your true self is reserved and logical.

With friends, you seem dramatic, lively, and quick to react.

In love, you seem mysterious and interesting.

In stressful situation, you seem like you're oblivious to the stress.

What Do People Think Of Your Face?

Spending Time with My Family

2007-01-05T00:30:00.000+08:00

Yesterday was Faezin's 1st day at a new school. He looked calm but excited. Hubby was not feeling well and had MC. We sent him to school. I'm glad he didn't cry. Then we decided to go Sheng Shiong. My maid and my other 2 sons came along. Before we went there, we went Causeway Point. But hubby forgot to bring his wallet..haha..dah tua la dia. Just redeemed dble cheeseburger & bought choc shake..ya i know i'm still eating junk food. Just eating it once in a while. Made a stop at home just to grab hubby's wallet before going Shing Seong.

Around 4.45pm we went to fetch Ezin. Then off we went to CP. First stop to Popular where I get my Taufik's CD. Then we went next door to Kiddy Palace to spend my voucher. After buying some toys and baby stuff, we went for dinner at Swensen's..my treat. I share fish & chip with Ezin, Santi shared kid's fish n chip with Fitri while hubby ate curry chicken bake rice. We also order earthquake but Faezin was too sleepy. He didn't even want to eat it. Feel a bit sad la. Next we went to the arcade. had loads of fun playing the basketball, grand tourismo, bike racing, bowling, spider stomping etc. Faezin really enjoyed himself. Even my maid was having fun. We didn't even realise that it was 9+. Time flies when u're having fun. What a great & fun day.

2007 - a new chapter

2007-01-03T12:00:00.000+08:00

I extend my hand to welcome the new year while I bid farewell to 2006. 2006 have been a good and rewarding year. This year I'm officially a mother of 3 boys (aka my chipmunks..hehe). I hope 2007 will be as rewarding as 2006. Here's my personal resolutions for 2007.

Lose weight (really need to get rid of the excess baggage esp at the thighs & hips)
Exercise more (need to be fit so that it helps if I need to run after my sons..haha)
Eat less junk food (cutting away the flabs..once a while is ok. i have sweet tooth la & sooner or later no tooth.. hahaha)
Be more patient with the boys (ya i'm quite fierce & tempremental..so must keep cool)
Spend at least 30 mins on each boys daily (they can be attach to my maid but i'm still the mum here..have to bond with them)
Put aside time for myself daily (of coz this is the most important..i have to take care of myself too right..pamper myself)
Have a couple time with hubby weekly (have to keep the romance & passion in marriage right..still wanna stay lovey dovey like newly wed..haha..)
Family time weekly (the most headache time at times..but it for building strong family foundation)
Meet up with friends once a month (at times i just wanna be away from family so that i can be sane & kp in touch wit frens)
No work should be done on Saturday unless I go school (need to be away from work also)
Wake up early (cannot be a lazy bum or mum..haha)
Dress more presentable (always been selekeh..must be more presentable)

Right now i havent do any of the 2007 resolution yet. I woke up late coz Farihin needs his feeding at night and now I havent shower..smelly? Nop I smell good..hahah. After this i'll be showering and eating my brunch..feeling the hunger pangs now.

My older son is so excited. He's already putting on his socks and his class only start at 2. Kelakarlah budak ni. Ok i guess i better bathe now.. very hungry already. Kebulur beb.

What My Birthdate Says Abt Me

2006-12-20T19:54:00.000+08:00

Your Birthdate: April 20

You are a virtual roller coaster of emotions, and most people enjoy the ride.

Your mood tends to set the tone of the room, and when you're happy, this is a good thing.

When you get in a dark mood, watch out - it's very hard to get you out of it.

It's sometimes hard for you to cheer up, and your gloom can be contagious.

Your strength: Your warm heart

Your weakness: Trouble controlling your emotions

Your power color: Black

Your power symbol: Musical note

Your power month: February

What Does Your Birth Date Mean?

What Kind of Blogger Are U?

2006-12-20T19:42:00.001+08:00

You Are a Social Blogger!

Your blog is more of a semi-private affair for your friends.
It's how you keep in touch... sharing stories, jokes, and pics.

What Kind of Blogger Are You?

Rain..Rain..Go..Away..

2006-12-19T20:50:00.000+08:00

My goodness..it's been raining the past few days. It's all wet and cold. Watched the news just now and it seems that the monsoon downpour will continue for few more days. Luckily I'm stuck at home due to confinement. If not, I guess I'll be bored to death. But some people are not so lucky being late for work, stuck in traffic, office flooded etc...chaotic huh.
Whatever the weather is, ni semua kehendak Allah swt. And we as human bersyukur saje coz there are places that received very little rain. But its human nature ah.. panas complain, hujan complain...complain aje. Teringat pula cerita Nabi Noh as dengan bahteranya. Tuhan turunkan hujan berhari-hari sehingga semuanya ditenggelami air kecuali mereka yang di atas kapal tersebut.
So for the time being, I just save on electric bill for less aircon and fan usage but increase in water heater usage. Lolz.

My Boys!

2006-12-18T12:52:00.000+08:00

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Just wanna post again..

2006-12-11T15:26:00.000+08:00

See I'm back again.. Now u know how bored I am. Yap very bored stiff. Hmm.. what can I talk about. Oh ok, yesterday hubby brought home VCD Heart.. the Indonesian movie. I didnt watch it coz entah eh.. not interested. So end up my maid yg watch till abis.. kesian dia.. menangis. Teringat masa we both watch this Hindi movie, Waqt. Both of us cried. I watched Asian Games..more exciting.
Ok lah.. i stop now..actually sleepy but ntah eh mcm tak bole tdo.. see later la mcm mana. Mata ni degil pulak. Ok lah.. ujan lebat seh. Soo dark. Tapi best coz windy..but takut pulak pintu terslam.. takut Faezin ke siap tersepit. I think i go lie down n try to sleep. Alamak teringat spageti la..ice cream la..
I think I list down of things I wanna do during my maternity.

I wanna go picnic with famili.
Lepak2 with hubby or frens.
Sleep and sleep
Update my work plan for 2007
Re-organise my table.
Clear unwanted 2006 papers.
Tidy up my book cabinet.
Go bowling.
Go swimming.
Watch movie with hubby.

Little Notty Fitri

2006-12-11T14:41:00.000+08:00

Fitri is getting quite notty nowadays. Maybe he's just craving some attention since people are now concerntrating more on Farihin. But si Fitri ni pun cute sangat. Just now he did something that scares me and my maid but at the same time mcm adorable gitu. Playpen si Fitri dah lah koyak at the side because Faezin and Fitri pernah buat lubang yang pat tepi tu jadi besar. Fitri pernah keluarkan kepala frm the hole tapi tak lah sampai dia boleh keluar. Lagipun sempit sikit nak keluar coz ada big cushion yang hadang. Guess wat..
Tadi si Fitri dapat keluar. He was standing on top of the big cushion against the wall. Alamak budak ni.. betul buat orang heart attack. Santi cepat2 masukkan dia dalam balik and we hadang with another big cushion so now the hole is covered with 2 cushions. Tapi si Fitri kesukaan.. dia ada ketawa2. Betul lah..if i tell my aunt abt this mesti my aunt terkekek. She missed Fitri so much. Later i'll give her a call to complain abt the little one's mischief. Hehe

My 3 Princes

2006-12-08T03:19:00.000+08:00

Md Faezin, Md Fitri and Md Farihin my 3 darling Princes. I wanted a son but now I have 3 sons. I was hoping for a little girl to dress up but I'm still glad of God's gift. I can foresee that my house gonna be a mess mcm tongkang pecah in 2 yrs time with toys and mess. I really gonna pity Santi. She have to handle all of them when hubby and I are at work. Let me reflect on my love for my boys..

Faezin
He's my 1st prince. A sweet and friendly 4-yr-old. He's good at helping around and entertaining his younger brother. He really adores both his bros. At times he has his jealous streak but so far he good to his bros. He can be naughty and irritating at times. He loves to question every single thing which at times makes me fed up coz I cant watch tv in peace or I have no answer for his enquiring mind. He's sensitive too. He cries easily but nowadays he's quite ok. Sometimes I feel that I'm too hard on him but I want him to be a responsible brother and son.

Fitri
He's my 2nd prince. A chubby and cute 1-yr-old. He's a bit shy with stranger and cries when he doesnt know the person who comes close to him. He loves playing with his big bro and curious abt his baby bro. Sometimes he just irritates me when he cries too much. I feel that I dont have enough time with him coz he spend most of the time in his play pen and I cant carry him. I feel that he doesnt have enough love from hubby and I. I feel bad for not giving him attention. I think I will make more time for him when his baby bro is sleeping.

Farihin
He's my 3rd prince. The youngest one is only around 2 weeks old. But he commands my attention most of the time. He has my most attention. He's sooo adorable. Cant wait for him to grow.

Sigh.. i love my sons. If my life is not as long as I wanted it, how will my sons cope? Alamak..i just fell asleep in frm of the laptop.. hehe.. better shut down my laptop. Tata.

Sigh

2006-12-08T01:14:00.000+08:00

Feeling a bit down. I dont know why.. maybe its just my hormones kicking in. I dont really know what to blog about even when my heart is overwelming with all sorts of emotions. Nvm.. maybe some other time.

Taufik or Hady

2006-12-06T01:21:00.000+08:00

I watched Wish Upon A Star just now. It's a variety show that showcase the Spore Idol Finalisit and them doing charity work. Oli sure looks slim and slender.. and she cracked a joke of how she's like betraying Taufik becoz she sang with Hady. That sets me thinking of Hady and Taufik.. who's my favourite.
Well, I still prefer Taufik. Sorry Hady. No doubt both have great voice and good looks but I STILL prefer Taufik.. hehe.. I loved this song from Taufik's new album.. yap I'm gonna buy it. Can't wait for my payday.
Here's the lyric.
Usah Lepaskan
yang terindah terlukis di bibirmu
tak pernah kulihat senyummu sebegitu
pudarkah cinta yang kuberi
berwarna-warni segala yang dijanjikan ia
usah biarkan ku bersendirian
usah biar hatimu ditawan
usah biar diriku di sini
seorang menunggu tanpa teman
usah lepaskan genggaman tanganmu
usah biar semua berlalu
usah terlupa perasaan hati
pertama kali kita bertemu
usah lepaskan
tak mudah ku melupa segala yang berlalu
ku ingin selalu bersamamu
ku tak peduli apa sebabnya
engkau dan dia harus bersama
mendungnya langit bila berkata
kita patutnya masih bercinta

usah lepaskan..

Sigh...i fell in love with song. Mak ai jiwang betul seh aku ni.. i dont care..I still love the song!

My 7th Anniversary

2006-12-05T15:35:00.000+08:00

On my 7th wedding anniversary, Fitri had another check up. Nothing much..hubby bought chocolates as present.

Confinement

2006-12-01T14:25:00.000+08:00

Confinement.. Hate it...Hate it... HATE IT! Well thats my opinion about my confinement. Why i hate it soo much? There's sooo many reasons.
I had to put on some paste on my body that supposed to warm my body. Hate the smell.
I can only eat certain food. Yah...crappy food. Right now im still hungry but i'm sick and tired of rice. Damn!
Had to put on bind called bengkung. It is soooo uncomfy and right now i cant even lie down coz when i did that, i cant breathe. Actually, im having difficulty breathing right now.
Drink tradisional medicine. Yucks... it tastes so horrible.
Can't go out. This i dont quite mind coz at the moment i'm kinda lazy. But once in a while i need fresh air.
Lie on bed at rest as much as i can. Too much for me is not good. I get bored. If im tired or sleepy then i dont mind the sleep and rest. Other than that, too much rest on bed is making me worse.
Right now, im feeling sleepy after my massage. But at the same time, i have difficulty breathing with this super tight bind. I 'm falling asleep as im typing this. I dont care but im gonna loosen this bind. Oh ya... i have no time to update my template and i know that Hari Raya is over but i still have hari raya song on my blog.. I change soon ok.

A Smooth Delivery

2006-11-30T16:16:00.000+08:00

It was a boring Saturday. As usual, I woke up late and spend my day lazing around. So I decided to just chit chat on the phone and watch tv. I thought it might be an uneventful day. I had my contractions the whole day. I was joking with my maid saying that I might be going to the hospital soon if the pain prolong. But just as precautionary measure, I just informed hubby about it so that at least he is well prepared.

By evening, the pain was getting unbearable and I told hubby to fetch me from home instead of meeting me at KK. To ease the pain, I took a warm shower and pack some more stuff in my bag. I drank a mug of hot Milo with 2 tablespoons of magarine. Around 730 pm my in-laws decided to give a surprise visit. However, to their surprise, I was in labour pain. My father in law told me that I should just meet hubby at KK and he and my bro in law will send me there.

By the time i reach the delivery suite, hubby was not there yet so i had to go in myself while my father in law waited for him. I was given Rm 19. A few minutes later he arrived. He sat and chatted with me while i inhaled the oxygen. Frankly speaking the oxygen doesn't help to lessen the pain. Then he went to get coffee so that he is well-prepared for any looong labour...

While he was away, the doctor came down to check my cervix. She said it was only 5cm. Later I had my epidural. At least now the pain is lessen by half but I can still feel a bit of pain on my right leg especially my thigh. Hubby helped by rubbing some ointment on it.

Around 11pm the doctor came round again to check if I'm ready. However, my cervix was only 7cm opened. She broke my waterbag and then she left. As I was talking to hubby, I felt something trying to push out from inside. Hubby pressed the emergency bell. But only the nurse appeared and she told me to wait and not to push.. aloo it wasn't me doing that pushing. It's the baby. My doctor can't come down yet because she has to attend to an emergency. The nurse quickly prepare me for my delivery. As she was still preparing, I can still feel the baby pushing. Hubby was holding my hand and since there was no one else, hubby had to help to hold my leg. He wanted to sit outside but unfortunately he had to witness the delivery. It was quite an experience for him. Since the baby could not wait to come out, I have no problem pushing. I just had to push 3 times and my baby just slide out. That was a smooth delivery. Alhamdulillah. Hubby was quite surprise also. We were glad everything was over.

My Celebrity Look-alikes...tak sama pun!

2006-11-19T18:01:00.000+08:00

Bohong Sunat aka White Lie

2006-11-06T00:32:00.000+08:00

Sunday is 1 of my rest days. As usual, backache and cramps kick in. Did some work and also resting. As my due date draw closer, I can't carry my younger son coz my tummy getting bigger and heavier and so is the little boy. He's a handful at times. Just like his older bro, he's soooo adorable.

Yesterday, i received a call by my ex-student. He and some frens wanna come to my house but I'm sooo tired and crampy that I've to tell a lie. Sorry dear. My hubby was asking why i didn't invite them. What's the purpose if i'm gonna be sleeping. It's not abt the duit raya. Ah.. never mind la. Anyway, I wasnt close with him. If its the girls, then it will be different. So far none of the gals called. I guessed they won't be visiting. Maybe next time lah. Still feel a bit guilty though.

Gonna sleep soon. But still watching Trauma on RTM1. And waiting for 1.45am. I have to take my glucose level 1st before i can go to bed. Did i mention that I have diabetes in pregnancy. Leceh lah... asyik nak kena ambil darah aje. Alhamdulillah, today glucose level is excellent. :o) I'm soooo proud of myself. Everything is normal! I do eat a bit of sugary or starchy food but i take them in moderation or when i crave them. It work la... like eating kuih a few pieces for my snack. Anyway, the dietician says that I could have 5 small tarts which is also equivalent to 3 wheat biscuits. Kalau makan biskut aje... muka pun dah macam biskut. Bosan beb.

Selamat Hari Raya!

2006-10-25T18:35:00.000+08:00

How time flies... tup tup dah raya. This year's raya was just simple celebration. It's my younger son & maid's 1st time raya. First day is like every other year. My family and I will visit only our seniors. This year might be a simple celebration for me but it has an extra meaning to me.

For the past few years, my hubby didn't go to my mum's coz he sort of felt hurt with something my mum said to my cousin about me. He find that it very untrue. That incident lead to my sis quarrelling with him on the phone. And because of both incident my hubby refuse to have anything to do with my mum and especially my sis. So the past few years I went to my mum's with just my son and he waited in the car. As a daughter, I felt that my mum is just human..you know how poeple would say hurting words when they are angry. Of course I was hurt but after sometimes I just let it go. I dont know.. maybe its just me. I guess i'm the type who tend to forgive others easily. Anyway she's my mum. I always hold to this mly saying, "buruk baik mereka tetap orang tua kita". Good or bad she's still my mum and her blood runs thru me and i cant just severe ties..God forbid.

Every year raya i kept hoping and praying that my hubby would want to open up his heart to visit my mum. Although he might not want to go, he still allows me to visit my mum. But he doesnt like me be close to my sis at all.

Few days before raya this year, I was discussing with hubby about our visiting route on the first day raya. he mentioned that he doesnt that he doesnt want to go visit my mum again. I told him that my sis is not living there anymore and he promised last time he will go if she's not there. Alhamdulillah he agreed. However he made me promise that not to ask him to go again if we accidentally met my sis family there. Luckily when we went there my sis family havent come yet. Actually my sis missed us by half an hour.

But we met at my aunt's place. My hubby is closed with my aunt's family so of course he just ignore my sis. Before my sis went home she ask for my forgiveness. Then i reminded that she havent do that to my hubby especially since they quarrelled. At first she doesnt want to because she says that my hubby is taking a nap. But I just told her to just go. Luckily my aunt was there to coax her. When she did that, I was sooo happy. At least my hubby will now keep the grudge anymore. In fact when we went home, he asked me wahat made her do that. I told she wanted to do that but feel uncomfy and embaressed about doing it. But with the miracle of raya and soothing words of apology has changed my hubby. Alhamdulillah... i was so glad that I almost cried when he said that i must invite my mum and my sis to our house.

The day ended with us visiting Obek Umi from KL at Lion City Hotel. Imagine 5 families cramped into 1 hotel room. It was so fun. We were there from 12 am to almost 2 am.. i reached home at 2+am and went to bed at 3am. I had difficulty waking up just now.. hehe. Anyway, Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri Minal Aidil WalFaezin Maaf Zahir & Batin.

Abang's Birthday

2006-09-30T17:04:00.000+08:00

Yesterday was my hubby's birthday. Not much of celebrating done. The day before we went JB and bought food to break fast at his mum's place. No present for him. Just wishes him only. At night, Fitri was having runny nose and was very cranky. He takes ages to sleep. Poor thing.
I woke up feeling sleepy and light headed. Hubby decided to take MC to help me to send him to the clinic if he's condition did not improve. I had to be at work by 7am. Yawnnnn. It's Children's Day Celebration.
Around 11am, hubby called telling me that he's at hospital. I thought my son was very sick but its about my bro-in-law & his wife. They met with an accident. Astafirullahalazim. After work, hubby fetch me and I went to visit them at TTSH. Both had dislocated their shoulder and had lacerations on arms and legs. Alhamdulillah, its nothing critical. My hubby send his bro to his mum's. He was feeling uncomfortable and his body was aching although at first he wanted to accompany his wife at the ward. Poor thing.
Looks like hubby's birthday is filled with unfortunate event. But he's going enjoy his celebration with his colleagues. They went to Singgah Selalu at JB and he only reach home around 4am. He looked happy. He got some PSP game cartridge and $50. In fact, the polar cake is in the fridge.
It's less thanj 2 hrs before I break fast. Looks like I'll be breaking fast alone. Hubby at work and my maid can't fast. Oh well, I'm used to it. Looking forward to break fast at my aunt's.

Still Trying To Fast

2006-09-30T16:58:00.000+08:00

It's only been 1 week into the fasting month. Alhamdulillah, I get to fast 4 days. I didn't get to fast for 2 days because I was feeling a little light headed and feel like vomitting. I'm glad my maid is ok. So far she's helpful and hardworking. She can cook and my sons like her. I really hope that it's not only for the 1st few months like what my friends say.

Its The Fasting Month Again

2006-09-23T16:52:00.000+08:00

Yep.. its Ramadan again. Last year, I did not get to fast because I was quite weak with my pregnancy. However, I think with this year pregnancy I think I can manage fasting. Whatever it is I try my best. I love a challenge. Hehe.

Leaving on a Jet Plane

2006-08-31T16:23:00.000+08:00

Yeah..Alas... I'm at budget terminal. Waiting for my flight. I'm going to Bangkok!!! Hopefully everything goes smoothly. Even my butterflies in my tummy has stopped fluttering. Can't wait to reach Bangkok. Right now, I'm with Fara, my sis-in-law using the net. Not sure where's the rest of the gang went. Oh ya... Happy Teachers' Day to all!!! Have a great break! C'ya!

It's a BOY..Again

2006-08-20T12:48:00.000+08:00

I went for my scan. Quite anxious to know my baby's gender. I was really hoping for a girl. But during the scan, the doctor says, congratulation it's a boy. Oh goody its a boy.. again. I was quite saddened. But maybe not fated for me to have a girl. Never mind, as long as my boy is healthy then its ok. Boy or girl, he's still my baby and i love him. Maybe i try again in few years time...

Tummy Hurts

2006-06-28T01:23:00.000+08:00

My tummy is still hurting. It hurts since morning and I had to take MC. I'm really not sure what causes it but I have a good feeling its all because of my irregular meals. So must be gastric la what else. Slept too much earlier due to the pain. It comes and goes. Right now I still feel the mild pain. Hmm.. no thoughts to add. Some other time then.

Still Awake

2006-06-22T02:53:00.000+08:00

I'm still awake and typing on my laptop. Ntah just feel like typing & at the same time watching The Ring 2 on HBO. Yap.. I know I shouldn't be watching it at this hour & with me pregnant. Can't help it la.. I like scary movies and yet I'm quite a scardey cat. So far its this Ring 2 (Eng) is not as scary as The Ring (Jap). I watched that a few years back with a friend, Herniza. We watched it in the evening at Jurong Pt. The movie freaked me out. I don't even want to talk about it for few days coz I keep remembering Sadako crawling out of the tv. Really freaky. I'm not really concerntrating on the tv so not that bad la. Today just feel like updating all my blogs..maybe my sons too. Kesian diorng nye tak update.

Now, I'm feeling hungry. I'm actually having craving. I want ketam masak lemak.. siapa boleh masakkan eh. 2 wks time Ezin's b'day but still don't know what to plan. Ish..ish..ish. And he keep asking for his choice of cake, one in the shape of a car. His b'day party will either be at my house or at East Coast. Both are fun.Whatever it is, I still will get some goodie bags for his classmates.

Yawn..hmm..mcm ngantuk pulak. My hubby and my son are snoring away. I think I get to bed soon.

Holiday is ending

2006-06-19T16:23:00.000+08:00

Brrr.. the staff rm is damn cold. With less people around and me being hungry, the normally warm airconed rm becomes xtra cold. Oh ya, plus its raining. Luckily i have some biscuits and milo which I kept just in case of emergency like ermmm.. today. haha. Let's not talk about work coz I dont like to blabber about work here.
Well, just now I read a few of my friends blogs while munching some biscuits. Azna's was all about her holiday. Must be fun huh.. I can't wait for mine in Aug-Sept. Suhaila's was about the 80's kids. Quite fun reading it. Actually i read it sometimes back but it still bring a smile to my face..actually i was grinning. Haha.. I just cut and paste it here... oh and i add a few of my own comments too.
70's & 80's Babies!
1. You grew up watching He-man, MASK,Transformers, Silver hawkand Mickey Mouse. Not to forget, Ninja turtles, My Little Pony and Smurfs too. [my all time favourite..the blue-white creatures...its,"nanaa nananana"...SMURFS"] >>I like all.. oo there was She-Ra.. the female version of He-Man.
2. You grew up brushing your teeth with a mug in Primary school duringrecess time. You will squat by a drain with all your classmates beside you, and brush your teeth with a coloured mug.The teachers said you must brush each side 10 times too.[hahaha...free show, free show!!1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9...10!] >>fun seh
3. You know what SBC stands for. [of course!!! It stands for...umm, tvlah!!] >> S'pore Broadcasting Corporation.. hehe.. love all the Chinese serials.
4. You pay 40 cents for Chocolate or Strawberry MILK every week in class. [Luuuuv those 'free' milk. i'm one of the monitress who had to go to the room next to dental clinic and carry the milk packets in the shopping basket! kalau bulan puasa, macam tak sabar-sabar nak minum that chocolate milk time buka puasa] >>i helped to do the distribution too...:)
5. You watch a very popular Malay dubbed Japanese drama on RTM1 about schoolgirls who possess powerful skills in volleyball called Moero Attack. [tak miss that series....summersault berpusing!!!] >>Hey.. fav seh ... i can even sing the theme song.. haha.. i think i can still remember a bit.. oh there's Oshin also.. there was also a Chinese drama abt volleyball kinda Spore version of Moero Attack..Chen Liping was slim then..
6. You find your friends with pagers and handphone cool in Secondary school.[ya...i only had my own when i was in JC1, okay!!!] >> JC at least not so bad. Mine was after I have a bf who bought pgr for my b'day (after JC).. oh he's my hubby now.. and he buys hp for me now.. hehe
7. SBS buses used to be non-airconditioned. The bus seats are made of woodand the cushion is red. The big red bell gives a loud BEEEP! when pressed. There are colourful tickets forTIBS buses.The conductor willcheck for tickets by using a machine which punches a hole in the ticket. [i used to keep the tickets, colourful.then when my cousins came to our house, we role play lah!] >> used to kp the tickets too. hehe
8. Envelopes given to us to donate to Sharity Elephant every Children's Day [i think they still have it now but in those days, it was fun! I...Sharity Elephant, Sharity Elephant...your friend!!!] >>oh.. i even write letters inside the envelope.. haha
9. You've probably read Young Generation magazine.You know who's Vinnythe little vampire and Acai the constable. [we grew up with those characters...and especially Mr Wolly, Mr Yakki, Miss Lala, Zizi the zebra...remember?] >> of coz the best mag before i outgrew to teenage & teens.. i loves the stories & contests..
10. You were there when they first introduced MRT here. You wentfor the first ride with your parents and you would kneel on the seat tosee the scenery. [remembered we had to take the bus all the way to the first station...Tanah Merah!] >> i remembered going to Toa Payoh stn to look at the MRT stn.. jakun katakan.. hehe
11. Movie tickets used to cost only $3.50.[enjoy, enjoy!] >>i only remember watching Gila-gila Remaja with my sis and mum...
12. Gals are fascinated by Strawberry Short Cake and Barbie Dolls.[I used to buy lots of Strawberry Shortcake stuffs, Care Bares', oh yes bought my first Barbie Doll's bathtub set with my hari raya collection...bu still SMURFS is above all else!] >> i cried when my cousin decided to make over my barbie with highlighter...hey i got it for my 9th B'day.
13. You learn to laugh like The Count in Sesame Street.[Count wif me..1, 2, 3, HAHAHA!] >> I still prefer Electric Company.. coz ada Spiderman..
14. You longed to buy tibits called Kaka(20 cents per pack),and DingDang(50 cents per box), that had a toy in it and it changes everyweek not forgetting the 15 cents animal crackers and the ring pop, wherethe lollipop is the diamond on the ring. [sampai kene marah dgn Ibu coz the titbits make me cough. Anyway, I still love KAKA...the red packet with the picture of a chicken and Ding Dang reminds me of Pak Mat Sentol. remember him from Aksi Mat Yoyo?] >> i buy them for toys.. haha
15. You watched TV2(also known as Channel 10) cartoons because Channel 5 never had enough cartoons for you. [oh yes! There was SILVERHAWKS, MASK, and the cute creatures that can jump when they drank some potion...can't remember the title though] >> it's called Gummi Bears la Su..Oh don't forget Alvin & the Chipmunks.. my cousins don't even know them.
16. Hardy Boys, Nancy Drew, The Three Investigators, Famous Five and Secret Seven are probably the thickest story books you ever thought you have read. Even Sweet Valley High and Malory Towers. [aaarrghhh...those were my favs...especially, Secret Seven, Nancy Drew, Sweet Valley High and Malory Towers....] >>I like Nancy Drew and I still do. Who cares abt my age as long as I like the books.
17. KFC used to be a high class restaurant that serve food in plates and let you use metal forks and knives.[but we prefer going to Arnold's...still existing at City Plaza] >>Oh I still like Arnold's too. The place has nostalgic value..sigh
18. The most vulgar thing you said was asshole and idiot and THE MOST EXTREME WAS 'super white'...you just couldn't bring yourself to say the hokkien relative. [i budak baik, tak cakap all that. but i can still remember Miss Babani's favourite word when she's angry..."You Nincampoop!" keh keh keh. i don't even know what it means] >> 1 of my teacher used to scold us "Musibatu punya budak!".. but I kinda outgrew the vulgarities when I'm in pr sch...I can just use Bombastic words to scold others now. Better vocab now.. haha
19. Catching was the IN thing and twist as the magic word. [Police and Thief lah] >>now i realise its actually Peace not Twist... hehe
20. Your English workbooks was made of some damn poor quality paper that was smooth and yellow. [not so much Eng book but I remembered the A4 size Malay workbook with that yellow flimsy pages...kalau kene air, habis boleh koyak buku!] >>I remember that! Hate writing on them coz they tear easily...
21. CDIS were your bestfriend. [hahaha..CDIS-school?] >>hmmm..cant remember much abt this
22. The only computer lessons in school involved funny pixellised characters in 16 colours walking about trying to teach you maths. [i pourposely joined the Conputer Club just to feel advantage above the rest of the pupils coz I can use the computer in school...very cool u know! Had my own PCat home only in 1995...meaning, only in JC1!!!] >> yah i learn IT by crashing my own pc.. haha that was when i was in JC..
23. Waterbottles were slinged around your neck and a must everywhere you go. [i still love the red Ovaltine water bottle] >>hmm.. i dont think so...
24. Boys loved to play soccer with small plastic balls in the basketball court. [oh yes!!! when they come into class sweating, kene hamput macam nak rak dgn Cikgu Hazizah, the lioness!] >> yah and they are soooo smelly...yucks..
25. Teng-teng, batu serembat, chapteh, hentam bola and zero point were all the rage with the girls and boys too...[and no matter how terrer the girls are in batu serembat, the champion is still...Fauzan!!! kalau main zero point / yeh-yeh, i mesti kalah sebab pendek!] >>oh i chip my teeth coz of zero point..and hentam bola is similar to dodge ball...
26. Science was fun with the balsam and the angsana being the most important plants of our lives, guppies and swordtail being the most important fish. [1 more important tree...the pong-pong tree!!!] >>thats y i was in science club and i love science.
27. Who can forget Ahmad, Bala, Sumei and John, eternalized in our minds from the textbooks. Even Mr Wolly & Mr. Yakki. What abt Miss Lala??? And Zaki and Tini in Malay Textbooks? [1 more character....Gopal] >>Yakki..Yakki.. where are you? Are you Mr Yakki?...
28. We carry out experiments of our own to get ourself badges for being a Young Zoologist/Botanist etc.[ I was a Young Zoologist, Botanist, Mathematician and believe it or not, Young Ornithologist! You know I hate birds!!!] >>I'm a Young Botanist & Zoologist.
29. Every children's day and national day you either get pins or pens with 'Happy Children's Day 1993' or dumb files with Happy National Day 1994'. [some of the things we always get, pencil box, puncher, file, pens, pens and more pens. DUH!] >>I loke those gifts Ok.. still do..
30. In Primary six you had to play buddy for the younger kids like big sister and brother.[oh, i just took care of my own brother. He was in P1 when i was in P5. Senanglah!] >>Hey i became a buddy in P3. I still know my P1 buddy's name & I even met her a few yrs back..that was when I was in JC..she was quite shocked that I can recall her.. versy sweet girl.
31. We wear BM2000, BATA, or Pallas shoes. [oh yes, i had all those...but can't forget the simple China shoes!] >>Ya..and kids nowadays want Nike and the other branded stuff.. as for me... I have to wait till my shoes start to show signs of holes..
32. Your form teacher taught you maths,science and english. [ok, let me recall my form teachers...P1-Mdm Rosminah (my fav Malay teacher), P2-Ms Hamidah, P3-Mrs Goh Huan Cher, P4-Mrs Belinda Choy, P5-Ms Babani, P6-Mrs Shirley Yuen. Hooray, i can still remember them!] >>P1- cant recall, P2 & 5 - Mrs Molly Zehnder, P3 - Mdm Siti Arfah (she's a Science HOD now..still in the same pr sch), P4 - Mr Zainal & P6 - Mrs Ng
33. The worksheets were made of brown rough paper of poor quality.[risograph, what'd u expect!] >>Ya..even after u erase, the imprint is still there...
34. You went to school in slippers and a raincoat when it rained,and you find a dry spot in the school to sit down, dry your feet, and wear your dry and warm socks and shoes. [never brought my slippers, but the raincoat was a must...till now i'm so use to carry an umbrella in my handbag!] >>my grandma used to bring me those slippers & raincoat..
35. School dismissal time was normally around 1 pm. [and we head straight for our school bus] >>ya.. i dont know how to loiter around...
36. There would be spelling tests and mental sums to do almost everyday. [yup...Everyday! no complaints!] >>Oh .. my Chinese will get beating on the palm with a wooden ruler for every mistakes...now..scold also parents complain..so pampered..LEMAU siak!.
37. Your friends considered you lucky and rich if your parents gave you $3 or more for pocket money everyday. [ehhehe...in P1 I had only 60cents and it gradually increase to $1.50 in P6] >>ya..$2 makes me rich.. haha
38. You see Wee Kim Wee's face in the school hall. [he got such a pleasant smile] >>I admire & adore him...
39. You freak out when the teacher tells you to line upaccording to height and hold hands with the corresponding boy or girl. [i'm always..always....the first girl...as usual] >>me too.. always the 1st in line..hey I'm vertically challenge..
40. Boys like to catch fighting spiders.[and keep them in match boxes!] >>Oh not to forget catching grasshoppers..
41. Collecting and battling erasers was a pastime for boys [we girls just watch them play and then their erasers being confiscated by the teachers!] >>kids nowadays learn to play that too..
42. Autograph books were loaded with "Best Wishes", "Forget Me Not", and small poems like "Bird fly high, hard to catch.Friend like you,hard to forget". [Roses are red, violets are blue, I have a friend, and my friend is You!] >>I still have 2 autograph books to prove that...
43. Class monitors and prefects loved to say "You talk somemore, I write your name ah!" [keh keh keh....i was 1 of them!!! and they make enemies with you if you write their names on the board with those white chalks] >>I'm quite quiet la..
44. There were at least 40 people in one class. [40, standard number] >>not much problem coz we are like mice with teachers around.. GOOD KIDS.
45. Large, colourful schoolbags were carried.[square...everything square, even the pencil boxes] >>cant remember my school bags..
50. You brought every single book to school, even though there was onething called the timetable. [Once I forced ibu to ome to school to send my Maths workbook coz I left it at home and afraid that teacher would scold me. But i end up being scolded anyway....] >>I'm afraid of my teachers..actually i really appreciate them...
Spread this heart warming messagearound, you don't get something like this very often. Have fun reading.

See I'm Ok Now

2006-06-14T13:46:00.000+08:00

I'm in a mood.

I'm ok now. See everyone you can settle down. I just like to rattle how I feel deep deep inside me. My baby is awake and is making cute growling sound. He reminds me of a baby monster. Now he's playing by himself, rolling around and of coz growling. He's so adorable and baby usually has this scent. Can't really describe it but it smell kinda nice. It's a mixture of baby powder and baby smell (alaaa bau masam2 baby). Just now he was standing behind me. Then he crawled away and playing with his toys. Awww.. he is just adorable. And here he comes again standing behind me and looking at what I'm doing on the laptop as if he knows what I'm typing.. Lol. Alaaa.. cute sangat la budak ni. Ok i'm sleepy actually. That usually happens after I cry. I feel better now.. much much better. Ok I think I better stop now. I want to play with my son. He's pulling my hair.. ouch...ahahah

Just Whining

2006-06-14T11:45:00.000+08:00

I am in a mood.

My son is taking his nap so I thought of just taking my nap too but my eyes just don't want to close and my head is spinning with thinking. It all started with last night. After tucking my sons in bed, I was thinking of just cuddling with hubby. It has been a looooong time since I do that with him, just holding him in my arms and feeling secure in his arms. Oh ya, I was holding him in my arms and his arms tuck under his head and he's sleeping. After holding him for sometimes and seeing that he's tired and sleeping. I just moved back to my place between my sons. During that time I felt so alone. Sigh.

Today doesn't make any difference. I have a feeling that my aunt doesn't want me to send my son to her house end of this week. I haven't do any work for almost 2 weeks and I'm getting worried because school will open in a week time. Am I being a burden to others? Are my kids just another burden too? Maybe I should just go missing. Then my presence will be felt and I be missed. Or maybe.. just good riddance.

I think my hubby deserve a better wife and my kids deserve a better mum. Someone who can take care of them 24/7 , clean and cook which I can't. I can't express this to anyone. Then they'll just say that I'm just being petty and sensitive. I don't want to be feeling this either! Try crying and crying and being confused of what you want and who you are. And being pregnant doesn't help much. I think I deserve to be alone and I shlould shut the world out. I just getting crazy. I should admit myself in IMH.

What do I want in life? I think I don't want anything else. I don't want my life or trading it with someone else.. I just don't want any more of life. I'm just bloody damn tired of life. If I'm in Harry Porter world, I just go and find myself a dementor and let it suck the life out of me. Then I will still be alive yet lifeless. I better stop jabbering coz I'm just uttering nonsense. To anyone who read this, please do not leave any comments. I'm just drowning my sorrow. After typing all these crap and crying, I can then feel better as usual. I trudge on.

Weekend around the Corner

2006-06-01T22:00:00.000+08:00

Well, weekend is just a day away. But I'm not really looking forward to it. Maybe coz my body is still aching with my First Aid Course for the past 3 days. Yesterday, my aunt already warned me to fetch my sons early. It's not that I don't want to fetch them earlier but I was just thinking of taking a nap or rest before I fetch them. I don't like being accused of being lazy when sleepy at her place or she thought that I'm having fun outside. What fun? The fun I ever had recently was , when I'm at work or having course together with my best buddy at work, Azna. I don't even get a chance to watch movies unless I count the time I took my son to watch 'Over The Hedge' recently. Shopping.. well I think the last time I really do window shopping was with family (cousins, aunt, in-laws, hubby, kids). I don't have the time to do that with friends coz I'm bz or they are. Well.. we are adults with responsiblities & commitments.
I love my sons to death. Both are soooo cute and adorable. Of course I would want to have them with me all the time but usually I'll be taking care of them myself. Hubby would be too tired or grumpy at times. Sometimes it can be quite stressful for me. I don't really know who to talk to. I'm the sort of person who would prefer letting it out. But I need to talk the correct person. I have a few close friends whom I would talk to regarding work, spouse, kids etc. But sometimes they too have problems of their own. I don't want to take advantage of our friendship and be selfish. So in the end I just bottled it all up. Who knows maybe one day I just crack up. I could just end up in the hospital (I know I shouldn't even think of suicide but sometimes I just can't help it) or IMH.
With another one on the way, I really don't know how I would be able to handle all 3 of them in future. Maybe I should just stop working and be a housewife and full time mum. But I don't think that would be a good idea. I can't cook for nuts or do proper housework. I hate stressing myself more. Argghhh... damn it.
Oklah, hubby home. He's eating dinner next to me. He even feed me some briyani. He can be sooo sweet at times. I love him to pieces. But I won't want to cross him when he's angry. It's too scary. I think I just stop now and eat dinner with hubby and watch my favourite show, Supernatural on AXN.

Why am I easily irritated?

2006-05-22T21:05:00.000+08:00

Just like what I mentioned in my other blog, I'm feeling fed up. I don't understand why I'm easily irritated. I'm sooo damn tired with work, life. Try to make myself happy but sometimes I'm just being hurt again and again. Am I under too much stress? I think I should lie down and sleep early today. I need ice cream to calm my nerves. Sigh..

I'm Safe

2006-05-09T20:16:00.000+08:00

Dear frens,
I would like to extend my gratitude for those who saved me from the haunting. And because of you lovely people, I've won something but no idea what. LOLz.
Penat betul la.. badan sakit2. Apa tak nye asyik balik lambat je. Exam weeks so banyak nak kena mark. My body damn aching sia. Last week masa MC, I even had a massage so that i can loosen my stiff muscles. Everytime I get back from work my head aches with all the reading and thinking and marking. Sheeesh. Anyway, I changed my hp to SonyEriccson. Ok la..still adapting. Faezin i next to me and watching Flubber. He's laughing non-stop. Must be very funny to him. At least he's happy. He's been sick last weekend. Poor thing. He had high fever. Had to bring him to a 24 hr clinic and it cost me a bomb. But, at least he's better and the medicine is suitable for him.

Save Me

2006-04-25T19:40:00.000+08:00

Hey... vote for me. Help save me! I don't want to be haunted! Click this.

My Best Friend

2006-04-18T00:26:00.000+08:00

At this hour, I can't seem to close my eyes and go to sleep. Maybe one reason is because I slept to much earlier coz I wasn't feeling well. Secondly, coz I'm just plain sad. I'm keeping it a secret.
Since young I have been trying my best to prove to myself that i'm capable of doing well and to show others that i'm better than expected. I don't believe in taking too heart all those criticism. I know if I want something I can do it. But as I grow, my spirit is not as strong as before. My spirit has taken its toll. I can see all the years of bruising and hurt. Maybe last time I dont see it all coz I'm more ignorant of those surrounding me. I live in my own shell where I set my rules and I follow my dreams regardless of what others expect me.
But now as an adult, I realise that I'm not good after all. I have major flaws. I'm incapable and incompetent in everything I do. I'm not as good as what I believe I am. I heard so many times from people around me that I'm useless as a wife, incapable as a mother and incompetent as a teacher. I must be trully good at telling myself otherwise coz I took quite sometimes to realise my flaws. Usually I would just ignore. I'm just plain tired ignoring. I cant cook, do housework, take care of kids or even teach. I just plain USELESS! Ya, I dont need any respect from anyone. I'm not any superwoman. My heart doesnt made of stone. Mine is beating and fill with blood but its seems noone cares if its hurt, prick or bled to death. Noone cares if it requires mending. Usually I mend it myself, consoling, comforting and denying.
I am my real best friend. The only 1 that cry with me, laugh with me, accompany me 24/7 and definitely understands me. I'm so glad I have u my best friend even though u can be my worst enemy too. Right now, in the stillness of the night I only have you. You can feel and think with me. Ok, we better stop crying and go to bed. We have work tomorrow. Time wont stand still for us. I need u. So please my spirit, dont die on me any sooner. I need you to go on with life. I need to rekindle the fire inside u so that I could fight on. I know you are sore at times. I'm trying my best to make all the pain to disappear although it can be unsuccessful at times.
So now my bestfriend. Let's get some rest. We have to fight again tomorrow.

Taufik Batisah @ HealthZone

2006-04-09T10:42:00.000+08:00

Fri, after my school sports day. My frens and I went to HPB to see Taufik at HealthZone since he is the anti-smoking ambassador. Actually I planned to bring Faezin. He loves Taufik. But on Thurs I was told I cant bring him coz he might not be able to go into the auditorium. I was quite sad coz I think my little one is a bigger fan than me. My 'screaming and idolizing' times is over. It end with KRU. Lol. On that day itself, surprise...surprise...2 of frens had their kids with them. Although I was quite happy to listen and see Taufik live, but at the back of my head my thoughts went to my son. When I went home, I should him a video clip of Taufik that I recorded with my hp.
After that he keep asking when can he see Taufik. I was so sad. I wanted to bring him to HealthZone on Saturday but noone can accompany me. I cant go out too far with Faezin and Fitri. Too much work and stress. So I keep telling my son that we will go next time and promised him that my hubby and I will bring him to the airport to see planes today. He was happy. Hopefully he will forget his disappointment for the time being until I can find out where I can bring him to see Taufik. And for the first time in so many years, I became a fan again...now a Fiknatic. All this for my son.

Missing The Li'l One

2006-02-02T23:04:00.000+08:00

The whole family missed Fitri. My hubby and I would smell his little clothes. Even Faezin will hug and kiss his brother's pillow. He keeps telling me that he wants Fitri home with me. Everytime i remember him, i remember his toothles grin, his friendly chuckles and coos. He will just makes us smile and happy. He just melt my heart. Can't wait to fetch him tomorrow night.

Fitri Ring Faezin Potty

2006-01-29T19:21:00.000+08:00

Yesterday evening, Fitri's ring that was used after he was circumsized came off. Now he's officially circumsized. That is lucky. If not Bibik might have difficulty taking care of him.
Faezin used the toilet bowl for the 1st time last night. At first he was afraid he might fall into the toilet bowl. But after that he got used to it. He even pooped in it twice. Hehe..
Then around 2+ am, my cousin came over for a sleepover. The guys spent their time playing games whereas the rest of us watch DVD. We watched Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, The Maid and White Chicks. Now they are still here but they'll be leaving soon.

Fitri Sunat

2006-01-20T01:26:00.000+08:00

Yesterday my little one was circumsized. Like last time, I have to hold on to his arms. Ho.. Fitri is stronger than Faezin. He really struggled and I had to pin his arms tightly. Maybe because he's 2 mths now whereas when his brother was circumsized, he's only 1mth plus.
At the beginning when he was only cleaned, he still smiled and 'talked'. He even laughed. Little did he know that he's going to cry later. When Dr Zailan started the injections, he started crying and struggling. When the procedure almost ended, he still struggled and cried in between sucking his bottle. Poor thing. He smiled again after we left the room. I'm glad that the torment is over.
Then we went to my in-laws place coz it's still too early to fetch Faezin. There Fitri cried and cried. After giving him his milk and medicine, I changed his diaper. While I was putting on some cream on his newly circumsized one, he peed and I had to cover with my palm.
Later at home, he cried more and I had to carry him around. I became so exhausted and fell asleep while hubby took care of him while I took a nap. Around 11+ i woke up coz hubby had to make Faezin sleep. Felt so much better after my nap. Fitri woke up around midnite coz he's hungry. After he drank his milk, I changed his diaper and he felt much better. In fact he smiled and cooed again now. He's so adorable.

Which Care Bear are you?

2006-01-12T00:07:00.000+08:00

See what Care Bear you are.

My 2nd BloGsKin

2006-01-10T02:51:00.000+08:00

Last night or should I say yesterday morning, I did another blogskin. This time a much simpler one using my son's ultrasound scan as the picture. Go on have a look at blogskins website. It's title is vbaby scan-#2.

FreAky

2006-01-08T03:55:00.000+08:00

Something freaky happened a few minutes ago. My door bell rang. When it rang the 1st time, I told my hubby..but he said to just ignore it. Then it continued. So after the 3rd time, he went to check it out. When he peeped out, there was no one there. And the door bell continued ringing until we pulled out the battery out..isn't it freaky!

Recently, I keep hearing the sound of marbles from above..BUT i'm living on the top floor. No idea whats that. Some people said its something ghostly. Last time a friend of mine said its just the ball bearing in the structure. What is it actually ah?

My 1st BloGsKin CreaTioN

2006-01-07T01:09:00.000+08:00

I've spend the WHOLE day doing this blogskin. I dont actually know what struck me. I was inspired. It's simple and still learning. I find it cute but still rough at the edges. Need to polish up my pics. Do feel free to check it out at http://www.blogskins.com and find vfaerie-#1. Now I'm tired and sleepy but my adrenalin still pumping and my creativity flowing... Let's see.. my kids are asleep and my hubby playing his PS2. And here I am blogging and watching TV at the same time. Now I have a new hobby.. hehe. So exciting.

2006 - AnoTheR NeW YeaR

2006-01-01T00:54:00.000+08:00

2006 has come. *sigh* I'm another year older. But I'm looking forward to this year cos I feel that I'm myself again. My spirit has been lifted out of last year dump. With a new baby around, I'm loving it but tiring. As I cross over to 2006, I feel happier. I think things going to be better for me this year. I can feel excitement with work, family and my life as compared to last year which i almost lose my sanity with depression due to work. As usual, every new yr i'll think of new resolutions. well, this year is no exception. below i list a few things i want to achieve by end of this yr.
pass my basic theory (hehe..failed it last yr)
lose 3-5 kg (i cant perform a miracle to be as slim as i once was)
more organize (bad habits are hard to break ok)
must start to cook (not maggie)
spend more time with my family (work sux.. haha)
pass my netball technical course (might have to do all over again)
I guess these should be all..oh wait..i have more but that is only related to work so i'm only state it in my other blog. ok..time to rest.

HaRRy PoTTeR & The GoBleT of FiRe

2005-12-23T05:55:00.000+08:00

Recently i've watch Harry Potter & the Goblet of Fire. I was quite disappointed. No..I didnt mean the movie was bad. Its just that I want to see more of the quidditch world cup. I had been imagining how it would look like.. i guess my expectation was too high. *sigh* Thats why I always prefer books than movies. Oh well.. you cant put everything in the book into the movie. So I guess the movie I played in my head while reading the book is a better version than the one in the cinema. Books can bring you to places... no doubt about it.

MoNa LiSa SmiLes

2005-12-23T05:54:00.000+08:00

I just watched Mona Lisa Smiles just now. Wow the story was truly inspiring. It's about a teacher who decided to move away from the tradisional teaching of the school by teaching things out of the curriculum and text. Since it was around 1954, girls are expected to be homemakers even if they are highly educated. They were not encouraged to further their studies in university but to be their husbands' trophy and housewives.
Watching the movie, I started reflecting that we have come a loooong way. Before girls don't go to school at all. Then came a time where it was like the movie. Now, girls have the same rights as guys in education but there are still a number who doesn't appreciate education. Instead they rather fool around or succumb to raging hormones. Thus, ending up getting pregnant and married. Some who are better decided to marry young. After marriage, their life evolves around family. Hey.. don't get me wrong. I'm not against people marrying young or housewives. I'm referring to people marrying at the age below 20. Yap.. I married young too but I still continue study after that. Sometimes its not their fault too. Some parents want their gals to further their studies and spread their wings while others prefer their gals to be married off and be good homemakers. Some prefers them to be superwomen and do both.. hehe. That is the main reason why women nowadays need to juggle career and family. Well..cheers to my fellow SUPERWOMEN wherever you are. Cheers!

FaEziN & MoNsTer - A ScaRy StorY

2005-12-21T17:55:00.000+08:00

A few days ago, my older son slept at my aunt's place for a few days. There he encountered something strange. He doesn't tell me about it. But I was told by my cousin because she was with him when it happened. Ok let me tell you the story...
It was already past midnight and Faezin has no intention of sleeping yet even though my cousin keep telling him to sleep. So both of them tell each other stories. While my cousin was telling him a story about Piyo Piyo, he was laying on his mattress and looking at the window. Suddenly he asked my cousin whats that and points at the window. My cousin turned around but could not see anything so she told him to sleep since its already late. So she turned away from him and sleep facing the window. Soon she heard him giggling and turned to look at him. He was covering his eyes with his hands and then opened them, giggling at the window. She asked him what he's doing. "Ezin buat apa tu?" He pointed at the window and says that he's playing with a monster. "Tu ada monster main-main dengan Ezin." Freaking out my cousin quickly woke my aunt up. Not to frightened my son, my aunt held his hand and walked him towards the window. My aunt told to poke the monster's eyes with his fingers. "Ezin cakap Allahu Akhbar. Lepas tu cucuk mata monster tu." Faezin did as he is told. Then when asked where is the monster, he told her that it ran away. "Monster mana?" "Ah tu monster. Dia dah lari." My cousin was really really freak out.
So just to confirm that he was not making up story, she asked him how the monster look like. When asked about its eyes, my son lowered down his head a bit and looked at my cousin. When asked about its hair, he puts his hands at the side of his face to show that its the hair. When she asked him what color it is, he told her its green. Still not happy about it she continued to ask him about the colour coz she knows that my son doesn't really colours that well yet. So my cousin points to something green and ask him, he said no. But when she shows him something white, he called it green. So now she knows that his GREEN is actually WHITE. Due to that incident, my aunt and cousin can't sleep.
Some people say that children has the ability to see 'things'. So what do you think?

First Wives Club

2005-12-13T03:07:00.000+08:00

Yesterday, I watched 'First Wives Club'. I don't know why I really like the movie. Watched it several times. In fact I watched it 3x this yr. It's about 3 women who were left by their husbands due to younger women. The actresses are Brette Midler as Brenda, Goldie Hawn as Elise and Diane Keaton as Annie. They were friends since college. So when they found out that they were in da same boat, they decided to join forces to seek revenge on their spouses . It was hilarious. You should watch it. Although it 's theme is more on marital issues, I can't help but notice the strong bond between da 3 friends. This let me thinking of all my old friends and who I still keep in touch with.

During my primary school, I have a few close friends whom I tend to spend da whole day with. Nur Hidayati was with me since P2 to P6. She's a bit tomboyish, bold and carefree. Very suitable for me a shy and quiet kid. Then there were Norisah Yasmeen & Haleyna. I knew them since P4. I still recall the times when we spent recess sitting at the stairs near the school field telling stories. Haha...I can still recall some stories about Wings (da Mly rock grp that Awie was in). Then there were other friends whom were in my class for a few years like Noziean (hmm...what happened to her?) and Safiah. Oh ya, I found an old friend whom I knew in P1...she's Juanna. Still yet to find Sharizah.

In secondary school I was no more the really shy & quiet kid. Yap, I outgrew that. hehe. Some of my gd frens were with me for the whole of sec sch life. They were Nadia, Norah & Shikin. Teringat masa Sec 4 cabut kelas Lit wif Nadia. Ntah Norah ingat ke tak. Oh ya..not to recall Azlan & Azhar. Not to forget the others who were my classmates for 2 yrs like Aini, Salha, Fadhlina, Azleen, Hilda & Murnisah (she used to be my best friend until she went to Poly. After that she decided to severed her friendship with all of us. Still dont know why.) Macam2 merepek masa sec sch. It was fun yet safe. No sex & violence...unlike teenagers nowaday.

Then there were Suhaila, Zuraini & Asmadi in JC. Oh I had fun in JC too. Opps I almost forget Sriwani & Khadijah, my Big Brothers; Weixiang, Melvin & Kian Kuan. I really love to keep in touch with everyone.

Even when some people tend to say that family is more important than friends, I still believe that you still need your friends to a certain degree. That's what happen in the movie...when their families fall apart. They fall back to their frens. This put me thinking that my family is no doubt the most important thing in my life but my frens are quite important. Cheers to gd friends; regardless new or old ones.

My 3 Guys

2005-12-12T14:33:00.000+08:00

I live in a house ruled by male. Not 1 but 3 of them. You should be able to guess... my hubby & my 2 sons aged 3 yrs & 1 mth. Currently my 2 sons are still young so I don't really feel da domineering male genes frm them yet. However sometimes I feel that my older son & my hubby are involved in a conspiracy to irritate me. Anything goes wrong I will be da best scapegoat for both of them. However without any of my guys, my life would be too quiet & too peaceful. They make my life more exciting & fun. I love my MEN...hehehe.

My hubby aka Mr Strong , my elder son aka Mr Funny & my baby boy aka Mr Small . What do u think of my MEN now? Hehe

My 3 Guys & 1

Meet My Harry Potter Match

2005-12-12T01:30:00.000+08:00

Viktor KrumYou go for the 'strong, silent type'. All
masculine, ready to protect you in a heartbeat,
all this guy needs is a girl to bring him out
of his shy shell. Some things don't need to be
spoken to be understood!

Who is your Harry Potter love match? (for girls)
brought to you by Quizilla

Visit by Salha & Fadhlina

2005-12-10T16:18:00.000+08:00

Just now 2 of my old frens came to visit me. Sal & Fadh were my sec sch mates. Yap... i still keep in touch wif my old frens. Wow...we had so many things to talk about. Macam2 cite.. siapa yg dah kawin, siapa yg dah ada anak, etc. Wish could hang out longer... too bad Norah tak dpt dtg. Hmm... Norah lives nearby tetapi tak pernah terserempak. Cite2 punya cite, now we realise that secondary school life is super fun. Macam2 kita buat. Ada yg giler2, ada yg merepek. How I wish I can go thru that part of my life again. I won't change anything. I should meet up with my frens more often so that I could chit chat more about old stories. Anyway thnx for visiting. Next time we can meet up outside for coffee. Miss da rest of my frens also.
Yipes! I look so fat! Fadhlina & Salha (carrying Fitri)

My Little Helper

2005-12-06T01:34:00.000+08:00

Faezin was excited to be a big brother now. He's my little helper. He will want to help to feed his brother, get for me things and even share his toys although the toys are not suitable for his brother.

Happy 6th Anniversary

2005-12-04T00:37:00.000+08:00

4.12.99 tarikh yg bersejarah dlm hidupku. Sungguh pantas masa berlalu...dah 6 thn aku berumahtangga. There's so many changes in my life. Mula-mula berdua. Kemudian bertiga. Now berempat. Married life has its ups & downs.

When I first got married, I wz still studying at NIE. Thn tu juga aku ada A level...yap ptely. Alhamdulillah da 3rd time barulah dpt full cert. Since masa tu bz dgn study, both of us planned not to have a child yet.

After 2 yrs, life still da same as the 1st yr. During my 2nd Anniversary period, I found out that I am pregnant. During that time also Abang baru dpt lesen class 2B.

My 3rd Anniversary wz I already had a son. This yr I have graduated and I have started teaching at Si Ling Pr.

In my 4th yr I have a fracture. During my anniversary, I am still limping a bit. By this time we were planning to move in a few yrs time.

Our planned to move is finalised in the 5th yr. We will be moving to Woodlands next yr. This yr we had a car, a red Matrix.

This yr, my 6th anniversary is special too. I have 2 sons now and leaving in a new house. I love my hubby & sons. My life is almost complete until I get a daughter. Hopefully it will be complete in 3yrs time.

YucKs..HatE UbaT PeriUk

2005-12-01T04:44:00.000+08:00

Yap...semua org yg dah bersalin akan lalui minum ubat periuk. Macam2 stail ada. Ada yg minum sambil tuang sikit dalam sink. Ada yg buat2 lupa. Ada yg masukkan madu dlm ubat tu. As for me, mesti makan limau sebelum dan selepas minum...pahit dia tak terkata. Boleh masuk fear factor seh. Tak sedap langsung. Siapalah yg akan cipta ubat periuk dlm bentuk pil / capsul? I will be da 1st person to buy it then. Ubat dalam bentuk tu takpe...10 pun aku leh telan. Tapi bab minum jamu etc...tak leh handle beb. Nak tak nak kena minum. Tu pun dah seminggu tunda minum ubat tu. Tapi nak jaga kesihatan badan, terpaksa jugak ku telan. Yucks...

I LoVe U, HarRy PoTTer

2005-11-26T04:13:00.000+08:00

I have always been a Harry Potter fan. Bila buku baru nak keluar je, siang2 dah book. Bila movie dia pat wayang je, mesti nak pergi tonton. But the books are always better. Another great books would be Narnia... read that masa in Pr school. Good now they are making the movie also.
Buku Harry Potter yg latest, Harry Potter & the Half Prince dah lama beli tapi tak terbaca coz too bz with work etc. So bila kena stay pat hospital, buku tu lah jadi teman. Yelah tgk tv aje pun bosan. At last I finished the book. Tapi rasa sedih bila cite dia abis. Sedihlah coz last2 Dumbledore mati kena bunuh dgn Prof Snape...one of his trusted teacher... the ultimate backstabbing. Yg cutenye, Harry suka Ginny & Ron dengan Hermione. Hehe.
Movie Harry Potter & the Goblet of Fire dah ada pat wayang but tak dapat tgk...sedih seh. Tot if I gif birth on the 18th, nak jugak gi tgk since cite tu opens on the 17th...tak sangka2 I give birth on the 14th pulak. Takpelah...I will buy the VCD yg original.

A 2nd Bundle of Joy

2005-11-15T20:36:00.000+08:00

Aii...badan penat pun tido tak puas. Tak selesa lah katil hospital. Badan sakit2 especially bahu dan tengkok. Mula2 pakai 2 bantal, lepas tu 1...last2 tak pakai bantal. Pagi2 Bibik, Zaid & Ezin datang. Muka Ezin macam hepi tapi suara sedih. Dia kata he miss me. Bila Bibik & Zaid turun, Ezin stays with me. Dia baring2 next to me.

Mula2 bila dia nampak Fitri, dia tak terima yg tu Adik Fitri. Dia kata Adik Fitri dalam perut. Kesian pulak dia. Tak lama lepas tu, Abang, Mama, Ayah, Bis, Iz, Cik Lina & Cik Hasyim pun datang. Bila masa semua nak balik Ezin tak nak balik coz dia nak sama2. Sedih pulak tgk dia. Abang pun nak balik coz dia nak settlekan uri.

Masa tgh tido, tau2 ada Kak Jijah & Obek Bedah. Obek Bedah ada tak lama...tapi Kak Jijah stay sampai malam. Lepas tu Imah, Syahida & Liyana datang. Bapak & Cik Yasmin datang tak lama lepas tu. Then Li & Farah pulak yg datang. Ayah, Mama, Bis, Iz & Abang pun datang. Abang Man pun datang. Mamai & Caled pun datang...rupa2nya diorg bawak Faezin. Kecoh tpt tu dibuatnye. Semua org kata muka si Fitri macam Iz. Malam bila nak balik, Ezin nak ikut Abang balik. Siang2 dia dah masuk dalam kereta Abang. Nak tak nak terpaksalah diorg detour gi makan supper pat Beach Rd. Pat sana Ezin tertido. Kesian dia.

Esok bila dah boleh balik, siang2 dah beritahu Bibik supaya jangan datang. Bila petang barulah dapat balik. Tapi esok kena pergi polyclinic untuk check up.

Oh..No... My Waterbag...

2005-11-15T18:32:00.000+08:00

Pada 13hb November, Abang siang2 lagi dah keluar. Dia ada course. Bila Abang dah keluar, sambunglah tido lagi. Pukul 11 pagi gitu tersedar..rasa macam nak buang air kecik. Tapi rupa-rupanya, water bag dah burst. Cuak sekejap. Abang takde. Mama & Ayah balik kampung kerana Kak Ary kahwin. Terpaksa call Bibik. Bibik terus datang dengan Afiq. Sementara tunggu diorg sampai, aku pun siap2. Ezin pun asyik tanya nak pergi mana.

Bila dah sampai KK, katil dalam observation rm penuh...kena tunggu. Bila dah abis observe, bilik bersalin pulak yg penuh. Ait banyak betul org yg beranak. Sementara tunggu, duduk dengan bibik pat luar. Afiq dengan Ezin dah balik Ubi. Dalam pukul 3+ ptg baru ada bilik. Bila pat dalam, Bibik pulak sorang2 pat luar. Lepas tu Liyana, Syahida & Ezin datang. Abang sampai dalam pukul 5 lebih. Oleh kerana kesiankan Bibik, aku suruh Abang tolong hantarkan diorg dulu. Pukul 6 lebih barulah dapat jumpa Abang.

Makin lama makin sakit. Ingatkan terrorlah...pakai gas aje cukup. Tapi mak ai...sakit dia tak terangkat. Terpaksa lah minta epidural. Bila dah malam...aku masih belum beranak2 lagi. Sakit dia makin menjadi2. Sekejap2 nak kena masukkan epidural. Ni semua gara2 nak sangat beranak normal. Dr Wong takde pulak...jadi kena gantikan dengan doktor perempuan. Doktor dengan nurse asyik keluar masuk, check itu ini. Perut terasa lapar...kerana makanan yg last dimakan adalah mlm semalam. Nak minum air pun tak dapat. Alat2 cuma dapat gigit ais aje.

Pagi 14hb November, jam 2 pagi...sakitnya tak terhingga. Pinggang rasa macam nak patah. Epidural yg dimasukkan pun tak boleh hilangkan rasa sakit. Asyik meraung2 aje. Abang dan nurse pun sampai kena marah. Diorg asyik suruh pakai gas. Gas ape je...tak guna langsung. No effect...susah nak bernafas lagi ada. Stupid nye gas mask. Sebelum tu, masa tgh sakit2, Obek Umi ada trunk call dari KL. Tak tau lah nak ape. Orang tgh sakit2 malas nak berbual.

Pd pukul 3 pg doktor kata cervix dah bukak untuk bersalin. So dah mula teran2. Abang sentiasa ada pat sebelah. Dia yg banyak beri sokongan. Dia lah jugak yg tolong lapkan peluh. Thnx Abang, I really appreciate it. Lepas 1 jam baby masih belum keluar. Sakitnya tak terhingga...peluh dah berbaldi2. Air con yg ada pun tak terasa. Doktor kata kalau lepas 1 jam baby tak keluar, mayb kena forcep or vacuum. If all fail, alamatnya op lagilah.

So bila doktor datang nak siap2 untuk keluarkan baby, Abang keluar kerana nurse tak nak Abang pengsan kalau ada byk darah. By this time energy dah low. Nasib baik at last baby keluar jugak pd pukul 4:14 pg. Jadi bila doktor jahit, dah tak rasa apa2. Badan dah penat, mata dah ngantuk... Kesian jugak Abang yg bersengkang mata. Bila dah masuk wad, dah pukul 6. Aku pun suruh Abang balik rehat. As for me, I cant wait to sleep. Jap lagi mesti ramai yg visit.

FalsE AlarM

2005-11-05T20:08:00.000+08:00

Perut rasa semacam je sejak balik dari beraya pat rumah Bibik..cramp2 & contraction. Pukul 4 pagi gitu terbangun...sakit sekali. Kejutkan Abang...terus kita siap2 nak pergi KK. Hujan lebat pulak. Ezin hantar pergi rumah Bibik dulu. Bila dah sampai KK, doktor kata cervix lum bukak. Tapi oleh kerana sakit sangat, kena admit untuk observation. Hai...rupa-rupanya false alarm. Buat suspense aje. Wasted hari raya ke2. Hari raya ke3 dah boleh balik. Duduk hospital pun bukannya gerek. Bosan.

HaRi RaYa

2005-11-03T23:46:00.000+08:00

Hmm..macam mana nak mula eh...ok. Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri. Di sini aku mengambil kesempatan ini untuk meminta maaf kepada mereka yang membaca blog ini sekiranya ada terkasar bahasa, salah ejaan dan sebagainya. Harap dapat dimaafkan.

Tadi pagi Abang pergi JB sekejap dengan Girl & Li. As for me I just stayed home to watch TV...ada cite Labu Labi. Cite kelakar P Ramlee tak jelak2... Oleh kerana mata dah tak boleh tahan, TV pulak tgk aku. Bila terbangun je..dah pukul 630 pagi tapi Abang belum balik. Rupa2nya, dia gi hantar Girl & Li balik. Selepas balik dari JB, diorg gi Geylang cari barang murah...tak tau lah apa lagi diorg nak beli. Bila dah sampai bawah blok, hujan pulak. So Abang hantar diorg. Motor Li tinggalkan. Dah balik lambat...alamatnya tak solat hari raya la. Tapi si Girl dengan Li lagi rabak... sampai tengahari pun lum bangun. Mama & Ayah teruskan pergi rumah Nenek tanpa diorg. Sori Li & Girl...ni setakat bercerita je. Jangan ambil hati pulak.

Mula2 pergi rumah bapak. Lepas tu pergi rumah Ibu. Abang tak naik kerana dia masih marahkan dengan Niza. Dah 2 thn Abang tak nak pergi rumah Ibu pasal tu. He just want her to apologize. Ntah lah...nanti takut Ibu pulak yang kecik hati. Lepas tu pergi rumah Nenek. Sana ada Cik Jamil & famili & Busu sekeluarga. Tak lama kemudian keluarga Cik Wawi & Cik Jais pun datang. Mama dan Cik Lina dah balik. Ezin pulak naik bosan pasal takde kawan nak main2 dengan dia. Pergi pulak ke rumah Mama. Pat rumah Mama, Ezin sukalah...dia ada Bis & Iz. Masa ramai org datang Ezin terpecahkan gelas Mama bila dia terlanggar gelas yang Cik Zarina letak atas meja. Nasib baik kaki dia tak kena gelas. Petang2 sikit kita pergi rumah Bibik. Ah... kalau pat rumah Bibik mesti lepak lama. Jumpa Obek Ajib sekeluarga, Obek Bedah sekeluarga, famili Cik Yasmin, keluarga arwah Cik Asmania & adik beradik arwah Cik Aim.

Tak sangka juga terjumpa Achmad Derajat...siapa dia? Ni anak murid P6. Budak tu terperanjat jugak. Dah nampak terus dia tak nak masuk dalam...asyik main2 pat luar je. Balik pun tak salam. Maklumlah...takut cikgu dia buka mulut complain pasal attitude dia dalam kelas. Ah tau pun takut. Hahaha...

Cepatnye dah nak raya...

2005-10-28T15:57:00.000+08:00

Masa yang berlalu sungguh cepat. Minggu depan dah raya. Yeah..yeah...minggu depan nak raya. Tahun ni raya secara sederhana saja. Maklumlah, kalau beli baju, esok lusa dah tak muat. Jadi yang beli baju cuma Ezin sorang je. Suami? Oooo...dia berjaya turunkan berat badan! Suka lah member... hahaha. Nampaknye dia boleh pakai baju2 raya yang lepas2. Bukan main seronok orang tu. Baguslah jugak. Budget sikit. Tahun ni pun kuih tak buat. Semuanye pasang siap... order katakan. Alaa...yang datang rumah pun bukan ramai. Biasalah kalau young couples, yang datang pun adik-beradik, mak bapak & members sendiri je. (Tahun ni, tak tau lak budak2 datang ke tak since I might not be home.)

Kalau cakap pasal budak2 ni, stress pulak fikirkan nak kena bagi diorg $. Kalau dulu $2 dah hepi. Ni skarang diorg expect $4. Kalau ramai2 boleh bankrupt...hehehe. Ni yang kenal. Kalau yang tak kenal pulak nak bagi masuk ke tak eh. Ye la... bukan ape. Diorg tu kadang2 tak fikirkan tentang keadaan org rumah. Adakah dia ada $ ke tak. Well, memang dari kecik lagi I don't do that. Tak reti langsung. Jadi bila dah sekarang, rasa macam perbuatan budak2 ni hanya mengganggu orang saja. Takkanlah menziarahi rumah kawan-kawan tak dapat $ raya. Ni bukan eratkan silaturrahim tapi mendatangkan kemarahan orang yang dikunjungi kerana ada yang marah2 apabila tidak dijemput masuk.

Nampak gayanye kalau ini berterusan, akan mencemarkan bulan Syawal. Sayang betul kalau budak2 ni hanya kaitkan raya dengan $ saja. Mana dia bermaaf-maafan dan saling kunjung-mengunjung sanak-saudara. Entahlah...

Tak Puasa Tapi Raya Sakan..

2005-10-28T15:51:00.000+08:00

Pelik juga tengok org2 yang tak puasa ni. (Macam lah aku puasa penuh.) Tapi, kalau tak puasa tu jangan lah terus makan terang-terangan. Kan tak hormat orang yang berpuasa. Itu belum lagi yang shopping sakan pat Geylang. Muka bukan tebal lagi, makan sebelum waktu berbuka dengan beg2 plastik yang sarat macam aku. Hai... jadi Ramadan ni bulan untuk shopping la namanye bukan bulan untuk puasa dah beribadah.

Kalau nak salahkan budak2, yang makcik2 & pakcik2 tu macam mana? Kalau dah mak bapak sendiri yang makan pat tempat awam dah tentu anak2 ikut. Jadi apa makna hari raya pada mereka? Syawal adalah bulan bulan kemenangan setelah sebulan berpuasa, maka yang tak puasa tak boleh rayalah eh... Betul tak?

ShoppinG AgaiN

2005-10-18T11:39:00.000+08:00

Yesterday, my cousin actually wanted me to join her shopping at JB but later she changed he mind. So I told her I want to come over to my aunt's to bake cookies... a way for me to destress. But instead I accompanied my aunt & my cousins to Kg Jawa & Arab St. My cousin, Mai is getting engaged next month so we need to get some of her engagement stuff. Susah gak nak cari barang budak ni...al maklum cerewet. Haha..sori Mai. Different people have different taste, right.

Hari Raya Shopping @ Geylang

2005-10-17T04:29:00.000+08:00

Just now I went shopping at Geylang...actually wasn't really shopping coz just went there to break fast and buy some food for my hubby. I wasn't actually fasting coz I was advised against it since I'm in my last trimester. But I believe that whatever the reason of not fasting, I don't like people to know that I'm not fasting. I think it is important to respect the month of Ramadhan and those who are fasting. For ladies who are not fasting and eat in public, pls others don't have to know that you're having your menses. Respect la sikit yg lain. For guys, alooo braders, are you that WEAK that you have to drink and eat on the spot. Kental la lu! Nama je lelaki tapi puasa pun tak larat. Ish..ish..ish..

Geylang was so pack just now. I had to walk around holding my tummy just in case that someone might accidently hit me. Not only that had to look out for my son who kept doing his disappearing act often. Luckily my aunt and my cousins are around to keep an eye on him too. Oh ya, L'il Huda was with us too. Cute but fussy little girl. Aku gigit pipi budak ni baru dia tau... hahaha

Before we went to Geylang, Mai & I baked Cornflake Cookie. Yap... its been a long time since I baked. Really miss those times. I love baking but too bad I have no oven of my own. Poor Mamai, she was tired but she still made those cookies coz of me. Thanks Mai.

After my hubby fetched my son & I, we went to Geylang AGAIN coz my in laws were there buying festive cookies from CT Plaza. Since his grandma is wheelchair bound, we decided to go to Changi for supper cum sahur after that. Hey, what do you expect. Its hard to move around with wheelchair in a busy place like Geylang. Had a picnic at Changi and ate nasi lemak there. All my in laws were there. It was fun. I knew my hubby was very tired but he still went anyway coz of his aunt and grandma sake. My son complained that he was tired but he was hyperactive! Running and playing with his cousins. Battery apa agaknye dia pakai. Hmmm...

By the time we reached home, it was almost 2am. Faezin already flat in the car. My hubby batt running low and as for me, I'm running on reserve energy. Just updating my blog. What do u expect huh? It's almost 4.30 now. My eyes are droopy. Selamat bersahur pd mereka yg bakal sahur. Yawn....

Just Some Quote

2005-10-11T20:41:00.000+08:00

Just Sharing A Quote

Notty Faezin

2005-10-07T23:30:00.000+08:00

Oh well...my hubby and I slept late the nite b4. So we were very sleepy in the morning. Sleepy lain cite, malas pun ada. Faezin pulak bangun pukul 9. Lepas layankan dia dengan susu and tv. I continued my sleep. Rupa-rupanya... dia tgh buat KEK! Sebelum tu dia gi on plug seterika. Nasib baik he didn't touch or langgar benda tu... dah jadi satu cite lain. Ni dia dah buat kek, dia gi terpegang and then lap pat atas katil...Alamak... betul la budak ni. Bukan nak kejutkan. Dia diam2 je. Cadar kena cuci. Dia apa lagi... mandi lah. Dah bau stoing, takkan biarkan lagi. Dah mandi senang sikit. Dia makan and minum susu.. lepas tu leh siap2 utk gi KK for my check up. Oh ya... Ezin tak gi sch ari ni coz mak bapak dia malas nak antar...kwang..kwang..kwang.

Sajak

2005-10-07T12:52:00.000+08:00

~Bingung~

lemas aku
rimas sendirian
dengan perasaan
yang kebingungan
haruskah aku pinta
huluran bantuan
dari mereka
ketiadaam sudi
ketandusan ikhlas
masih berterusan
terkapai-kapai
minta dimengertikan
semua perasaan
bertakung menjadi satu
lantar airmata
arus emosi
tenggelamkan aku
hanyutkan semua
yang kurang pada diri ini
manusia tanpa arah
karamkah terus
ke dasarmu
semoga dapat diri ini selami
menjejaki realiti
yang pasti
walaupun berkemungkinan
tewas dan lewas
tanpa bernadi

010805 (8.25 pg)

Sajak

2005-10-07T12:46:00.000+08:00

~Fitri~

Sayang,

setiap detik dikongsi

setiap saat di sisi

dua nadi menjadi satu

Kau seakan-akan faham

yang tersemat di hati

hanya sentuhan

hanya belaian

menjadi hubungan

Sayang,

satu hari kau kan terpisah jua

mungkin kita dalam satu dunia

tetapi dimensi berbeza

kerana yang pasti

ibu sentiasa menyayangi

010805 (8:35 pg)

Sajak

2005-10-07T12:40:00.000+08:00

~Hati Wanita~

Hati wanita

dikatakan penuh misteri

kadang kala sayang

kadang kala benci

Yang tenang hanya permukaan

sentiasa berkocak

di kolah perasaan

sentiasa terusil

sering tersentuh

keadaan yang susah difahami

menikam-nikam hati

Orang sekeliling

tidak akan mengerti

semuanya yang tersimpan

dalam hati wanita ini.

010805 (8:10 pg)

My back is aching

2005-09-30T20:41:00.000+08:00

Guess wat happened wen I was at werk. I fell down a chair. Da chair dah memang pecah but i tot cuma da back je. Tapi wen i was leaning to da rite suddenly da seat gave way and I fell down. Hopefully Fitri ok. Tgk lah mcm mana nanti. Ni tadi pun fetch ezin cepat coz dia sakit mata lagi. So while i update blog ni... budak kecik tu main masak2. Hahaha... tau tak ape dia buat? Dia tuang susu dlm leftover kek dlm mangkuk dia. Alamak... betul ah bdk ni... abis meja penuh dgn crumbs. Happy betul dia. B4 tat tuala basah yg sepatutnya digunakan utk tekap mata dia yg bengkak tu... dia gi buat lap tembok and lap motor dia... ish. Jap lagi abbas balik. Mlm ni tekak rasa nak makan piza or kfc laa... bosan lak mkn nasi je. K la lain kali leh continue...bye.

Sajak

2005-09-28T21:11:00.000+08:00

~Kami~

kami ibarat dian

yang sanggup berkorban

terangi hidup generasi depan

diam-diam kecil dan padam

ini tidak lagi mencukupi

kami perlu jadi keris

perjuangkan nasib mereka

kami perlu jadi perisai

menghalang segala tomahan

kami perlu jadi tangga

untuk mengangkat martabat

kami seperti matahari

tidak serik sinari bumi

hari demi hari

tanpa jemu

setia menerangi

01042002 (12:15 pm)

I am 7 mths now...

2005-09-28T21:06:00.000+08:00

Yap, dah lama tak update blog. Malas pun ada. Actally I donno what to say. Ingat nak taip sajak je but kesian lak my cuzzin keep asking bila I wanna update my blog. Tanpa disangka-sangka rupanya dah masuk 7 bln dah bawak perut. Now da cramps getting bad. Pinggang pun rasa macam nak patah. Kalau byk2 jalan pat work mesti balik perut dah rasa semacam. Kadang2 rasa macam nak terberanak pun ada. Sighs... entahlah. Makin lama dah makin dekat dgn my due date. I think I gif birth siang than da actual date. Ni pun si Fitri pat dalam perut tak reti diam. Seronok agaknya swimming2 dalam water bag... hahaha

Sajak

2005-09-28T21:05:00.000+08:00

~Mimpi~

kau tersenyum di sebalik kabus subuh

senyuman yang sukar ku mengertikan

kau merenung di sebalik tabir keraguan
renungan tanpa kepastian

selangkah demi selangkah

kau kuhampiri

tapi kau menjauhkan diri

akhirnya kau menghilang tanpa bicara

namamu ku seru berkali-kali

mengejutkan aku dari mimpi

air mata gugur satu persatu

rasa takut menyelubungiku

takut apa yang ku mimpi menjadi realiti

realiti yang tidak kuingini

06011995 (1:45 am)

American Idol 2005 etc

2005-05-26T10:04:00.000+08:00

Ok the result of the American Idol 2005 is in. Well, Bo fans... Bo lost to Carrie. Don't kill yourself over his defeat. Life goes on. We have S'pore Idol and next yr American Idol. But I still believe that Bo can do his own record... you know like Clay Aiken. Whateva it is... ROCK never dies!!! Hahaha.

Now lets talk abt me. My tummy seems to be having cramps. No idea why. My fren says its due to the baby. Now I am 4 mths pregnant... and it seems a loooooong way to go before I'll give birth in Nov which is ard 2 wks after Hari Raya... no new clothes for me this yr... :o(

This pregnancy makes me lazy & tired most of the time. I just love lying down or spending time alone doing what I like. Eg: sleeping, watching TV, playing PC games, or just plain doing nothing. (Sounds lazy rite.)

Preparing My Son For A New Sibling

2005-05-25T14:47:00.000+08:00

I am trying to prepare my son for a new sibling. I dont actually know how. So far Ezin's been ok but according to my aunt he does feel jealous or lacking of attention. If he throws tantrums, then he is actually seeking my attention. Sometimes he wants to be cuddle and be my baby again or my 'little cat'. Sometimes he refers himself as Abang (Big Brother). Now he wants to be carried around by my husband and then pretends to be sleeping.He's soooo sweet at times. He loves to sing and talk. Now I notice that his vocab is expanding although I don't understand some of the words because it sounds like something else. For eg: 'spider' sounds like 'ada' which means have in Malay. So 'adaman' actually is spiderman... hahaha. Well, that always make him upset and me frustrated.
I can't wait till 4th June. Why? Because Ezin will be participating in his childcare centre Sports Day.

New House, Another Big News

2005-03-27T15:11:00.000+08:00

This is soooo tiring. Shifting house, packing and unpacking. Arranging and rearranging. I can't take it. I don't want to shift house for at least a gd 10 years. I didn't realise that I haf lots of junks and 'treasures'. Even my hubby didn't realise that he too has too many stuffs.
Luckily everything is over. The renovation and the House Warming went on smoothly. A million thanks to all who came.

Recently, I realise that my body is getting fatigue again. I'm suspecting that I'm pregnant again. After using a test kit. Yap...I'm pregnant again! Both my hubby and I are HAPPY. At least Faezin will have a playmate. Poor Ezin, sometimes he plays alone coz I'm too tired to entertain him. Must be lonely for him. My hubby wants a girl. Well me too but we both feel that it's going to be a boy. Hopefully, this pregnancy is as smooth as my 1st one.

I'm going CRAZY!

2004-12-20T23:00:00.000+08:00

I wz so depress today. Last nite I went to JB 2geder wif my in-laws. I reached home in da morning at ard 3+. Then haf 2 wake up at 8am 2 send my son 2 childcare ctr. Everthing went ok until i fetched him home. Since he wz tired he started to throw tantrums! He wants me to carry him home... cant even put him down 4 a short while.....my blood starts boiling!
I scolded him bcoz he doesnt want to stop crying even when I carried him. It wz a relief . My spine feel like snappingggg any moment. After he slept...I kinda feel frustration, sorrow, everything lump into 1... Need to let go of it but alas... no1 2 talk 2. A gd cry makes me feel a lot better. Luckily a fren wz available... we talked for awhile. After that I haf a conclusion...either I feel this way coz I wz going C.R.A.Z.Y or its jus my bestfren is here (u know wat i mean).

Hari Raya 2004

2004-12-15T23:49:00.000+08:00

My hub (Mika), son (Ezin) and I during Hari Raya 2004.

E-zin's 1st day @ Childcare Centre!

2004-12-15T13:25:00.000+08:00

Today wz my son's 1st day in the childcare ctr (actually yesterday wz his 1st day but that wz not counted coz he spend ard 15 mins there... we were there 2 buy his uniform). I wz da one having the jitters. At 1st he seems ok... he wz singing and chattering away. But once we were at da door, he refused to go in. When I left him wif the tchr, he started 2 cry. From far my hub and I could see him crying.

Then it wz time 2 fetch him. We took a seat outside while waiting 4 da tchr 2 bring him. At 1st he seems fine... walking hand in hand wif da tchr & drinking his milk... howeva, da moment he saw me, he started wailing & running 2wards me. (drama betul budak ni..) Hahaha...guess 2 hrs wz like 2 days 4 him...sooooo da touching. On the way home, he started telling us that he cried during the stay. "Cry...Ezin...kakak...dont cry". Aww... he's so adorable.

The Big News

2001-11-28T21:51:00.000+08:00

My hubby just received his motorcycle license today. He wz very HAPPY! Well...I'm glad he passes. Oh... tats not da BIG news.
MY health wz not gd for da past days. Kinda feeling bloaty, giddy and lost my appetite. Hmmm...mayb.. jus mayb...Nahhh...it cant b. I guess its jus me fasting. My gd fren, Herniza, wz jus excited 2 find out if I am pregnant.
Anyway, I jus bought a test kit jus 2 make sure. I wanted to do the test but I cant do it coz... hmm.. I am jus dehydrated... LOL. I told my hubby but not to reveal to others coz its not confirmed. He wz jus as excited!
I went to break fast wif my in-laws at Geylang. Everyone knew abt my hubby getting his license but my news still remain a secret. At last, I only get to go to do the test at home when I get back. Well...well..well... wat do u know. I AM PREGNANT!!! Yeah... Now this is going 2b da beginning of a loooooooong pregnancy wif lots of check-ups, weird behaviour & cravings. Sigh! Let's cont another time. Psst.. this is really exciting...